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What body is this?

It's day two of me having not just zero stress but so much positive stuff to think about that I feel utterly turned around. I have to admit a lot of this, 90%, is because of my sister saying she wants to come out here and nurse me back to help. I'm just thrilled to pieces. First I was feeling really very, "Oh, God, I didn't really mean it, I don't have the money to pay for a plane ticket for her and I only have a day and a half leave to take, I've just got to start getting better on my own," and then ... I just started feeling my heart getting lighter and lighter, like a huge weight was taken off of me, like I knew I was going to be able to relax and not worry about stuff and things were going to be alright. And then I thought, my God, if this elation is how I feel just thinking about it, I should just take the slam to my savings and go for it. And looking at my schedule, I had almost nothing set up for the entire two weeks, or indeed for the months of February, because of me being so consistently, stupidly sick. And she's training to be a nurse so I feel extra confident that she'll be able to manage me being ill and be patient and not complaining about how boring I am because I can't do stuff. And I can keep going to work and she can do some studying and it will be alright.

And now I am all ready to buy her a ticket and I'm just waiting to hear from her, and I'm wondering what I can do to get a little more time to spend with her if she does come out here. But mostly I'm thinking, oh my God, this could really be the ticket to Wellville, a town I really want to visit. And I'm feeling this sense that yes, I've been trying to do the right things for my life and for my health, and things are going to get sorted, and I'm gonna make it to the other side of this damned thing, and I'm going to look back on the last month of near solid stress and misery and go, you knew where you were heading, it just turned out to be a very long trip.

Comments

( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
varina8
Jan. 29th, 2013 02:36 am (UTC)
I'm glad you're going ahead with the ticket for your sister. Rainy day funds are for...well, rainy days. And you've been stuck in a monsoon.
the_same_sky
Jan. 29th, 2013 02:00 pm (UTC)
This is such a lovely post to read! I am so glad the tide is changing. Enjoy booking that tickers for her, and enjoy the return to health you are feeling.

Have you read a book called A Little Light on the Spiritual Laws by Diana Cooper? I think you might like it.
webcowgirl
Jan. 29th, 2013 02:08 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the positive feedback! Sadly she will not be able to come out, as it's turned out. And we'll see if the tide as changed or I'm just clinging to a spare log as the wave rushes on.

I am not a spiritual person at all - my outlook is 100% scientific - so I suspect I wouldn't get much out of Diana Cooper's book, but if there's something in particular you think I should reflect upon, I'd be happy to hear about it.
the_same_sky
Jan. 29th, 2013 04:31 pm (UTC)
Well, it is definitely super-spiritual, that is for sure! I have found it really useful about manifesting health, wealth and happiness stuff, so that was the reason I suggested it.

I hope you continue to have stress free days, even without your sister's visit.
thewronghands
Jan. 29th, 2013 05:08 pm (UTC)
I'm so glad that you have someone who can come help you out. Hooray for your sister!
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )

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