I guess I managed to turn something that was inevitably a source of heartbreak into a day where I wound up feeling supported and part of a community, and helped form the community by inviting people I thought would enjoy each other's company over so they could hang out in a convivial atmosphere. I should feel good about that. It just ... I don't know, I want to have my brother and oldmangrumpus coming over this afternoon - how many years have we been eating turkey together? And it's all just gotten better since wordknitter joined the pack. And remember the year I got Grandma's china and could serve on a slice of something dear to me? I guess I don't, really, but it seemed that year after year things just got better and the food just got nicer and that big old, beat up dining room set gave its all and never came up short. And writing that here makes me feel guilty for leaving it behind, though I shouldn't feel bad for something that couldn't possibly miss me. Give my table a pat, would you, wendolen?
Miss you guys. Hope you're okay. What did I say last year? "Thanks is what you give for the unexpected or the undeserved." So I'll give thanks today for my friends, including my brother and sister in law, because friends is what they are, and I consider any friendship I have ever had not deserved, but a gift, even from family. Wish I could have all of you in the same place at the same time.
I think maybe next year I'll book these days off so I don't feel so out of it. I didn't know it had become so important to me!