Web Cowgirl 衛 思 維 (webcowgirl) wrote,
Web Cowgirl 衛 思 維

Why do I want to be in denial that I'm middle aged?

I realized tonight that I'd never realistically be in a rock band ever. I was thinking that it was admitting that you'd never read Remembrance of Things Past that meant you'd hit middle age, but I think that "no me singing on the stage" (other than karaoke) will be my real marker.

Damn damn dammity damn.

Going to see Cat Power when you can't hear what Chan is singing because the music is amplified so badly is no good. I got tired out around 10:30 (the show was supposed to start at 7:30 - it didn't say anything about there being two opening bands) and headed home before the set was over. I was frustrated and not connecting with the performance and missing singing with Howard and realizing I'd never have a birthday that was that much fun again, only 6 more weeks but no croquet and no 16 people jammed into the Old Szechuan and no Howard, and no singing, and the best I can hope for is "Am Dram" and karaoke. And hello 40.

I'm at loose ends on Thursday. Anyone want a visit from a cowgirl? Or a movie or dinner in town?
Tags: birthday, proust, the missing

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