Last night I said I feel like I have about five friends, and today I'm feeling that writing on (and reading) LiveJournal is making my relationship with them worse. I feel like I am seen as pushy rather than encouraging, "interfering" instead of helpful, amusingly demanding of the time of others, and offensive in what I write (enough to cause a sense of (or actual) estrangement). I've got about two incidents to support each of these things, so it's not just hormones making me focus on the bad stuff. Maybe I'm too sensitive to criticism, but I am upset. But for all I know, I just should be grateful I don't have hundreds of hate-notes in the comments of my blog.
My hopes that writing in this forum would be a way for me to feel more tightly entwined in my little community have been mistaken. Anyway, I read this article in the Seattle Times about how to take time back, and one of the suggestions was to not answer email so frequently (just once a day), and given that I'm starting a new job and my time is going to be at a premium, I think I'm going to bail, not just on the email, but on the LJ altogether and go back to pen and paper. I feel like I've opened a can of worms that has had generally more negative consequences than positive, and I'm just going to can it for now. I can spend my energy working for my Tablet article on Daylight Savings time instead. That'll keep me busy. (I kind of want to get more writing assignments from them anyway.)
Back to the fumes ... it's time to apply stain. And find my diary. And find my passport for my first day of work tomorrow. And figure out a good bus schedule to get to work.