Web Cowgirl 衛 思 維 (webcowgirl) wrote,
Web Cowgirl 衛 思 維

Schema therapy the last

Well, as I thought I might, I closed out the therapy sessions last night. I may have some abandonment issues and I may have had a shitty childhood - and he may be right that I have a hard time understanding people's emotions - but I think I've come out of my childhood pretty well and don't have any maladaptive behaviors that he's noticed. As for the emotional cluelessness thing, well, I work on it really hard, but I don't see how a counselor can train me to be better, or that I'm willing to meet once a week and pay rather a lot of money just to be trained how to get better at this.

We talked a little bit about my life and my vacation and the fact that I don't have a fucking clue what I'm doing or where I'm going right now but that the happier I am the easier it is to see what makes sense for me. And I'm pretty happy right now. I recognize that there are things that make me upset and I am now willing to let myself avoid those things, or at least try to deal with them in sequence instead of simultaneously. And Pilates is good for me.

That said, at the Pilates class last night I saw that the guy who does the dance classes on Monday nights (who made us listen to "Bad Romance" on repeat every class we had for two months) had move on to doing a routine to "All That Jazz." This makes me think it's time to defect to his class for the next two months. Watching all of the people dancing around with bowler hats gave me a BIG hungry to learn that routine. Pilates? Paf! It's nothing compared to Fosse!

Anyway, we shook hands and said, "Maybe later" (as I do think he's a good therapist, he sure helped me with the bullying thing at work). I walked downstairs with his pretty Burmese cat following along behind me and then his lovable King Charles Cavalier spaniel, whom I hadn't seen since the first session when I caught her as she ran around in front of the house, bolted out of the kitchen to say hi to me. It was a good goodbye for me, and I ended the night drinking some Rioja, poking the internet, and talking about life and theater with my new roommate, who is just aces. I'm fully on target to have May be the best month of 2011, it's already beaten every month in 2010, and with luck June will only be better.

Oh yeah, plus ... I was finishing my copy of Evelyn Waugh's "Decline and Fall" as I was getting to the YMCA, and I thought, "Gosh, I should hit their free library and get something to keep me company while I'm tubing back home. Everyone always is getting rid of the classics ... why not pass on a copy of his first book, 'Vile Bodies,' just how hard can it be to get this damned thing?" And there it was on the shelf. Between this and finding a ten pound note last week, I feel like it's time for me to get a lottery ticket.
Tags: pilates, schema
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