October 12th, 2003

Sea dragon

La Venexiana evening

The concert was good. Cathy had a good time, and there was one song (the only happy one) that was really exquisitely beautiful. Afterwards we invited her to come to 611 Supreme with us, where I had a banana crepe (cooked in Grand Marnier, with ice cream) and some hard cider that was the best I'd had since Spain.

We said goodbye and Worthy Opponent and I walked up the street to the Mercury, although I did consider just getting in the car (which we stopped by) and going home. Ultimately I wished I had, because after about 15 minutes I was just kind of wondering "What are we doing here?" I didn't like most of the music they were playing and I didn't feel like talking to anyone. Worthy Opponent said I looked like I was sulking, and then I got pissed off (and self conscious) and tried to see if I could pick up the pieces and make a night of it, but I finally gave up and we just went home. If only I had done it BEFORE we went in instead of AFTER!
  • Current Music
    "Rebel Yell" - left over from Thursday

Missed out on the Hobbit and taking a blogging break

My irritating trip to the Mercury left me in bed until noon today, meaning I got too late of a start to go to the puppet show. I did have a great breakfast, however, but it looks like that is going to be the only part of this day that was memorable. Otherwise, it was sanding floors, cleaning poop out of the yard, washing dishes, and inhaling delicious turpentiney fumes in the back bedroom. With any luck I might get a little work done on my costume before I go to bed.

Last night I said I feel like I have about five friends, and today I'm feeling that writing on (and reading) LiveJournal is making my relationship with them worse. I feel like I am seen as pushy rather than encouraging, "interfering" instead of helpful, amusingly demanding of the time of others, and offensive in what I write (enough to cause a sense of (or actual) estrangement). I've got about two incidents to support each of these things, so it's not just hormones making me focus on the bad stuff. Maybe I'm too sensitive to criticism, but I am upset. But for all I know, I just should be grateful I don't have hundreds of hate-notes in the comments of my blog.

My hopes that writing in this forum would be a way for me to feel more tightly entwined in my little community have been mistaken. Anyway, I read this article in the Seattle Times about how to take time back, and one of the suggestions was to not answer email so frequently (just once a day), and given that I'm starting a new job and my time is going to be at a premium, I think I'm going to bail, not just on the email, but on the LJ altogether and go back to pen and paper. I feel like I've opened a can of worms that has had generally more negative consequences than positive, and I'm just going to can it for now. I can spend my energy working for my Tablet article on Daylight Savings time instead. That'll keep me busy. (I kind of want to get more writing assignments from them anyway.)

Back to the fumes ... it's time to apply stain. And find my diary. And find my passport for my first day of work tomorrow. And figure out a good bus schedule to get to work.
  • Current Music
    Something by the Flaming Lips