An article in last week's Post-Intelligencer
covered a very interesting topic: when friendships die
. I've realized in the last few years that this happens far more than I would expect. In fact, losing friends seems to be the norm. People move, their interests become different from yours, you discover something horrible about the other person that makes you not like them any more, they have kids, you don't work together and your schedules don't really match up.
I've tried to handle this on a personal basis by basically constantly being in friend-recruitment mold. It's probably going to be harder and harder for me as I get older and more people have kids and decide they don't really have time for being active friends anymore, but I'm trying to head it off at the pass. I've also tried to look at things I do that might drive people away from me, and while I think I may have (*ahem*) certain personality traits that don't jibe with a lot of people, I've attempted to compensate - not by changing myself but by looking more specifically for people that are copacetic with my ebullient (and occasionally painfully critical) self.
Comments from you about this losing friends issue? The article looked at whether or not you should end it officially or just let things taper off ... what do you think?
Finally, I really liked Monday's article about the office spouse
, basically really good friends of opposite gender at work. I have one, and shadowdaddy
had one at his old job (and I think he's taken up with a new girl, the philanderer!). Any comments on this? Is it a UK phenomenon too, or specific to the US?