July 25th, 2007


In my left mind

I was feeling quite morose yesterday at the end of the day, like I could easily cry, though nothing really had gone bad at work. Unfortunately I didn't cheer up over my dinner (nice Japanese at Yoisho), and I actually wound up crying several times during the movie, which is quite unusual for me, especially when it's a movie I've already seen before (somehow I didn't manage to get it on my blogged list of movies I saw last year - shame on me). It was actually quite good on a second viewing, though I was disturbed that I was having to restrain myself from sobbing and disturbing the rest of the audience.

I came home to discover still no hot water - the rain has dampened the electrics in the boiler room and we won't get a replacement until today. The house was very clean, though, thanks to Pamela.

And I decided I should take an LJ break for a while, say until Sunday or Monday, partially because I feel like I'm shouting into the void, and partially bcause I'm feeling like people are thinking that by reading what I write they're actually keeping in touch with me - despite not actually keeping in touch with me. I'm thinking (and this has happened before, that I've had this thought) that if I cut of what is mistakenly seen as "my end of the conversation," they (or someone) will realize we're not having any conversation at all. I know that listening to myself talk certainly isn't a conversation. It's lonely.

Anyway, wish me warm water soon, and I think I'm going to try to deal with my extreme disaffection at work by taking Thursday as a WFH day, if only I could find someone who would not WFH with me and maybe go to an art museum or something. I know I'll never go by myself; I'm just too pathetically a social creature, and I feel kind of cut off right now.

Also, my last purchase from America showed up today. Isn't it ... terrifying?