I'm just a cock-eyed pessimist

You know the day is off to a bad start when my first tube of the day is an westbound District line.

Me: "The Little Mermaid," that would make a good ballet, if they could figure out how to do the costumes.
Him: Matthew Bourne should totally do Charlie and the Chocolate Factory as a ballet.
Me: The little old lady sitting next to me, she was really fun to talk to.
Him: She sure knew her ballet.
Me: It was only 15 pounds.
Him: Was it just me or did act 3 go on forever?
Me: No, we were tired of the ballet some time during act 2, so we were just worn out for all of act 3.
Him: Was the climax of the ballet really the boy going, "Ooh, I touch the mirror behind the throne!"
Me: No, it was, "I have the magic power of completing the shiny jigsaw puzzle!"
Him: Why was there a dance with gypsies? How did that move the narrative forward?
Me: She needed someone to tell her where Kai was.
Him: Why didn't the reindeer just do it himself?
Me: And spend half as much time prancing around? Oh, look, it's the tube station. Picadilly home?
Him: Yeah, we're at the dead time for the train.