March 15th, 2011

Tiger monkey

Schema therapy the eighth

Last night was mostly focused on the relationship aspect of my life. I want it to be nice and smooth and non-stressful. Apparently part of the "emotional deprivation" issues I have is serious bad reactions to withdrawal of affection. This is only made worse by my "abandonment" issues - I will push people away rather than experience the gut-wrenching destruction of being left behind.

You can see how these things might feed into each other.

Anyway, it was a busy session with tears, before, after, and during. It was a rough day. And it got rougher after I came home and got a message saying that my dog, Shadow, had inoperable stomach cancer and was going to have to be put down. That was really bad.

Today at work I was very heads down. I had my end of year wrap up with my boss which went super positively. I will talk about it in another post.

I feel better today. I feel like my head is more settled. I've spent the night watching nature videos, cooking, and drinking some Rioja. And I found a new roommate to move in. She'll be here come April 1st. She's a theater nut like me. Hopefully the next two or three months with her will be fun. I'm looking forward to it.