November 24th, 2011

Sea dragon

Giving thanks

Thanksgiving is the loneliest holiday to not be in America. It's not like Christmas, where even if you aren't around family at least other people celebrate it: it's a holiday where you're not just away from your family, but you have the feeling of being a big fat alien in a culture where you don't belong. My Thanksgiving dinner was some curry I downed (by myself) after my painting class. I did cheat and go have a turkey lunch at a barbeque joint here that caters to the American palate. It's not 100% right but as a restaurant Thanksgiving dinner it's pretty yummy.

I was trying to think of what I have to be thankful for but I'm feeling lonely and like my life is not getting itself in gear and struggling a bit. I'm thankful that I'm less depressed than I was last month (deep details unshareable). I'm thankful that as depressed as I was last month that it actually wasn't as bad as it was October of last year (I needed someone to keep a leash on me, I was feeling so self-hating).

I actually have had a good thing happen today, though: I got called in for a second interview at the company I was at last Friday. So I am thankful that I feel like my career is not stalling and I may yet be able to escape from the madhouse where I've been locked for the last two plus years. And I am thankful that I found a roommate as fast as I did; the new one moved in Sunday with no fuss whatsoever. That's two things. Doubtlessly there are more but two is good enough for now.