October 8th, 2012

Queen Apple

Four weeks of living like a selfish pleasure seeker

Counting back this morning, I see I have been happy for four weeks in a row, ever since I came back from Vulcano. Considering I've often been depressed for six months or more at a time, this is great. I'm worried it will all come crashing down around me, but I'm really enjoying it while it's lasting. So now I'm counting my happy times, like I used to count how many days in a row I'd been crying. In that case I was hoping it would stop at some point.

Last year the start of my depression was Saturday, October 8th, which I can remember well due to the phone call I received from my husband that kicked the whole cycle off. It carried on until about March 26th. I want THIS cycle to last at least until the end of November (since the year before last I crashed in October then, too). Massages, dancing, wine, friends, passing my citizenship exam, indulging in everything I can (to the limit of my expenses) to do things that keep me feeling positive, COME ON.