March 15th, 2013

Sea dragon

How time flies

Can't believe it's already been over two months since J and I got back together. We've been seeing each other lots - about three times a week - and talking to each other on the phone for about an hour every day, some times more. It's like we had so much stored up and waiting to say to each other. I feel good about all of this time, because I've always felt like J had seemed very lonely since he moved out. I know he spent time with other people, but ... I've known him long enough that when he was saying he was spending time by himself doing things, I could tell by the tone of his voice he was making the best of necessity in that midwestern way he has.

He's coming up to doing another show, and I'm sorry that I won't be seeing him so much, but very different from back in Seattle, I now have lots of friends to spend my time with, so there's actually a bit of a queue of people waiting for me to have an open evening. (Not that varina8 wouldn't have been to a movie with me in a shot if I were in Seattle.)

It does frustrate me though that I got so much guff for asking, and being accepted (and wanted) by Jason. I could see how sad he was all of that time! (Not to mention he kept saying he wanted to do things with me and that he thought about me all of the time. And that he wanted to get back together with me but just couldn't figure out how to do it.) And still, an entire group of people has turned their back on us (one of the major reasons for me being still sick as the stress on me on all of that rejection was very, very hard). It's sad, but what can you do but move on. So on we move, and here's to Darling of the Day, which I will be attending the opening night of in one week.

And it's now, what, mid-March?

I have now had this immune system thing for four and a half months.

Can I just say, for the record, that this really sucks. I'm glad I have only had the one cold, but this has really changed my life in ways that I don't appreciate one little bit. And my stress reduction plans, well, they haven't entirely gone as planned, but I can see that when I made drastic changes that I was actually anticipating my future much better than the NHS was.

Anyway, I'm going back to the doctor next week to see if they can give me some advice on how to actually manage this as a chronic condition, rather than just trying to bandaid it all of the time. I understand that maybe they can't make me well, but they could help me figure out how to live with it better than I am right now.