July 5th, 2013

Ballet

Steroids make you stupid (and review of Tutto Bene Mamma)

You know what I hate? Feeling stupid. You know what makes me stupid? An urticaria flareup, and steroids.

I've been at home most of the week. What have I accomplished? I don't know. I took a gas meter reading today and otherwise, what, I did some dishes. I want my not having a job time to look like this (review of "Tutto Bene Mamma," play done in complete darkness) and instead it looks like this (a bunch of imaginary dragons in a "breeding and collecting" game, please do go to the site and click all of my eggs).

The urticaria makes me tired and the steroids make me absent minded and when you put them together I am a big lumbering sloth. Still, I lumbered into town (forgetting the start time of the matinee I had booked for today, GO TEAM PREDNISOLE yet still making it on time ;-) ), saw a play and a ballet AND got my hair done in the middle, but I didn't do a lot of the things I wanted to do today, one of the most important of which is some paperwork the government wants from me. But I did have a lovely time visiting with my friend Nahid who said I need to get my health sorted out and stop worrying about finding a job especially if it's going to make me sick again. Get well first; then look.
Adopt one today!

So: I've cancelled my plans for tomorrow (more ballet) and I'm just going to stay at home tomorrow and get caught up on the dumb things I need to do: paperwork; planting flowers; cleaning my room so J can fit in it again. And then J is coming over and we're going to have a barbeque and it's going to be a nice evening, and I will not feel all stressed out.

Oh yeah. So the sertraline has been giving me sporadic micro-stress attacks, which I have been able to recognize as IT'S JUST THE DRUGS but which is still just shitty as hell to deal with WHEN YOU ARE SITTING IN A PLAY. I think the run thing is where it's at for dealing with this crap and fortunately with no work schedule, going for a run at any time during the day is totally possible. I'm guessing it burns off the adrenaline or something. I found all of these workout clothes I bought four years ago and they're now at the ready for whenever. My crisis point is going to be Sunday/Monday-ish: that's when I had the big fall down go boom thing before Easter (stared on Thursday then, Wednesday this time; boom on Monday then). I'm also kind of interested in trying this four minute 90% heart rate run thing I read about in the New York Times. I think my maximum heart rate is about 170 or so based on my measurements in the last 3 years; so at 90% it would be about 155. Can I run for 4 minutes with my heart rate that high? I don't think I'm strong enough yet, but I'd like to build up to it.

Cold is nearly done; prednisolone finishes up tonight. Taking it easy tomorrow. Run planned. Oh, and I made it below 180 pounds when I weighed myself today. Pity I'm not actually trying to lose weight but I'm counteracting it with a red berry Bulmer's cider.
Sea dragon

Sertraline redux day three

Yesterday I got very freaked out around 2 PM and was trying to figure out if I needed to turn back home and go somewhere safe (I was on my way to a matinee play I was about to be late to). I kept saying to myself, "You're fine, it's okay, it's just the drugs, nothing is wrong, you're going to be fine." And I thought, when did I learn to say all of these reassuring things to myself? Oh yeah, the last time I was having the big fat panic attacks.

I decided to cancel my evening plans for today and just stay home all day (and night), with a barbeque in the evening with Katie and J. Thinking the panicky stuff was happening about three hours after I took the sertraline, I went on a run at about 1:30, getting in about 27 or more minutes and more than two miles. And: no panic attack today. Very good.

Afternoon I was muzzy headed and just not super good feeling, but also it was the last day of the prednisole, so I'm hoping the stupidity will go away soon.

My skin is looking good (no welts) and I am not the least bit puffy although I'm still looking preternaturally young which I will ascribe a bit to getting my hair done yesterday but also to residual puff. And I got a nice card in the mail about what happened last weekend. Need to remember to send a thank you gift to the doc who kept me from dying last weekend.