July 14th, 2013


Now this is what I call a life event

So on Friday, as an experiment, I took NO ANTIHISTAMINES AT ALL.

This is based on the fact that, well, I wasn't feeling itchy, and I wasn't really seeing any spots anymore.


This was the first day in EIGHT MONTHS that I did not need to take any antihistamines.

On Saturday, I had a few spots, so I took HALF of my normal dose. And I was fine. And today, AGAIN, I took none.

I'll tell you this, the sertraline is really putting a choke hold on my stress producing body chemistry, that's for sure, because there were at least two things this week which should have at the least had me spotty and puffy and I had pretty much nothing. Nothing. NOTHING!

So I'm not really liking the part where about two hours after taking the sertraline I've been having this anxiety surges (not quite a panic attack but feels like the beginning of one), but I've been managing them very, very methodically, going on a run every day (every weekday last week) when they hit, and it seems to be helping - the fight or flight problems that have been wracking me and making my life a living hell (and not exactly making me miss popular, and certainly making things hard for J) for the last eight months are being managed, and the physical symptoms that were accompanying them (feeling them kick off was not helping reduce the panic feelings, that's for sure) have disappeared. I have no idea what exactly set me off in France, or if I'm under control enough to not have it happen again, but I'm very, very happy with how my body is behaving right now. I'm also glad I'm not at work feeling like I need to crawl under a desk or shut myself in a bathroom to deal with the anxiety stuff.

Anyway, I am feeling very, very happy about this. It feels like a real milestone has been achieved in my recovery, and I'm hoping it really indicates that I've gotten over some kind of hump. And hey: the shit that's going on that's causing my stress, I have every reason to believe it will stop permanently now: the big household re-integration has happened and things are looking good! (Well, not the house: it's a wreck. But things with life are looking good for both of us.)