August 2nd, 2013

Sea dragon

I'm kind of having an awesome summer

This week has been really great. I have had so many people affirming the direction that my life is taking, it's actually making me realize that things have really improved for me, not just since June, not just since January, not just since November, but since last year when I was well. I had a major peak in October, but that was an anomaly, and I knew even at the time that things in my life had to change, that I was going to need to make a big effort if I wanted to have a life partner, but I was willing to chill and let it happen when it did.

But ... I'm not feeling good about that, I'm feeling good about the changes I made. I ended the relationship because it didn't work for me, and in fact I'd attempted to end it in September but got sidetracked (not that it wasn't fun). I made the choice when I was in my right mind (twice!) and I made it looking for what was right for me and what would make me happy. And ... now I'm being happy. I have been trying to make changes for a while, one of them being working on making new friends, and Katriona, Nahid, Arwen (an old friend, but ...) and Sophie have just turned out to be awesome. And noirem has been great, too.

Meanwhile, working on getting in shape with the running, doing the horseback riding, drawing, writing ... this has been kind of an awesome summer. Now all I need to do is get a job again ...
Sea dragon

Health update

WELL! I am in a VERY good mood after coming back from the doctor. She's signed me off for another month, which means I'll have a tiny ESA income for this months, which is more than I would have had otherwise. I mean, I can sign up for actual unemployment, but everyone I know who's been doing it makes it sound like it's a forum for timewasting and abuse. I don't need to learn how to interview or write a CV; I don't need to be treated like shit; I don't want to have people forcing me into any job that is open because that's their targets met. I'm much better off waiting for a good job than taking something as a waitress, thank you very much.

She also said that my urticaria may reoccur if I stop taking the sertraline and I haven't killed the stressors in my life. Things have already mellowed out quite a lot, now that I'm not getting vile things sent my way via the internet, I've quit my job, and Jason's settled back into the relationship. I'm feeling much more positive about life in general, no doubt about it. I'm actually singing today! But I think another month of sertraline is the way to go, then a "phased reduction" to see if the urticaria reoccurs. But I'll be seeing a specialist at the end of the month, anyway, so he or she can give me some advice then.

Anyway, my blood pressure came in at 140/89, which is very good for me, and now I'm off to see an art exhibit with Arwen.