It's depressing that both my sensitivity to seeing rejection has started as well as the deep pain I experience when people reject me means I'm likely to get and continue to be rejected. If I just wasn't bothered, then people wouldn't have to deal with my reactions of extreme hurt when it had happened and it would be easier to mend fences when, er, I hadn't been driven to thoughts of suicide by feeling like I was not worthy to be alive. So I see it happening, I panic, the bridge is set on fire, there goes another friendship. Then I'm all depressed because I miss the person in question but they've moved on to more stable people.
I got to sleep eventually. I don't know how I got my brain calmed down.
Oil painting class tonight. Sleeping on train this afternoon. Possible writeup of play I saw yesterday at some point.