January 1st, 2014

Sea dragon

Too much stress

Doc was unhappy with my blood pressure when I went in on Monday and has me on a thing where I'm supposed to measure my blood pressure twice a day. Happy to say that after sleeping until 11 and then napping for another hour, and then seeing "Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Jeremy," my blood pressure came up as 83/137, which is a hell of a lot better than I ever getting sitting in the doctor's office telling them about everything that's going wrong.
Sea dragon

This will be a better year

I have to remember, for whatever blues I'm having about how things have changed in my life, I have to remember this time last year I couldn't wear tights without getting blisters at the waistline, and walking up a flight of stairs made me so tired I had to sit down and rest for about ten minutes. And work? Who remembers work? I was so exhausted every day was a blur, and I couldn't remember what I was doing from one hour to the next, much less from day to day. I was terrified of being fired and had no idea when this illness was going to break - or if I'd break first.

I'm so, so much healthier than I was last January 1st. I was cracking up because I could see clearly how badly this was all going to play out and pretty much most of my worst case scenarios, the ones that had me blubbing and desperate for support, came true. I still have issues with fear and anxiety and the urticaria is still there (and triggered by anxiety) but it's SO much better than it was.

I still wish things were better in many areas of my life. But, healthwise, things are better than they were last year. I need to be grateful for that and not sad about everything else.

Anyway, back to work tomorrow after eight blissful days of vacation and two weekends. Maybe I'll even finish unpacking before the weekend.