Web Cowgirl 衛 思 維 (webcowgirl) wrote,
Web Cowgirl 衛 思 維

Urticaria (hives)

So apparently I'm allergic to feeling bullied, betrayed, backstabbed, and abandoned. The price I will pay for this allergy is up to four more weeks of welts and exhaustion. The cure is to avoid stress and any even slightly tight-fitting clothing (even socks are leaving huge marks that take days to go away). With luck it will resolve itself and stay out of my face and throat while it's working itself out of my system. Nothing can be done about the exhaustion in the next few weeks; it's caused by my body, and not the antihistamines.


I've got a prescription for some new antihistamines. Apparently finding one that works is a bit hit or miss. The doctor gave me a prescription for desloratedine so I'll try that next.


I know the bullying I got from C & R & M messed me up. It's why I left Seattle. I've been trying to fix myself for 7 years now, and I do believe I'm a worthwhile human being now, which I did not when they were through with me. And I've gone to counselling, but after six months he told me I was basically okay. I'm just so unhappy that all of this shit I've tried so actively to get away from and deprogram myself from the toxic waste dump it left inside my head still has a grip on me. I think it would all have been easier if I felt like there was someone I could really rely on to have my back, but I don't, and that's the way things are, and I'm exhausted and easily made sad and this all just sucks and I hope it doesn't start causing problems for me at work, being sick and without energy and not able to think all the time.

Tags: allergies
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