I did, however, get to see a few shows were I either coughed little or not enough to bother other people. Kiss Me Kate was the final full show I got to see with exedore while he was in town ... I'm already missing him. The show, well, I found it uninspired. And Kneehigh's Midnight's Pumpkin, I'm sorry I didn't get to go see it with Holly, but the sad thing is I saw it with two people I really liked, Sophie and eglantinedreams, and was just too sick and exhausted to enjoy myself or even really enjoy their company. Fucking illness. On the other hand, I went to Victor Victoria again on Saturday night with eglantinedreams and it was just completely awesome all over again. I really hope I'm well enough by the start of the year that I can manage a tap dancing class with Sophie as planned. As it stands, I can barely manage walking for about 15 minutes without being completely exhausted. It's just so boring.
Last night I got some news from wechsler that just depressed me terribly right before we went into a show, "Godless Lessons and Carols," and I was left wondering if I was just too sick, too depressed, or too not up into standup comedy to enjoy the evening. It all feels the same. And while I've been managing to hold off the holiday blues until now, I think I can declare the Yuletide moping season officially open. I don't want to see what key marker from last night set the flag off but I saw it and I was sad that the old black dog had come back to haunt me again. Really, I thought I just might make it to January this year. But between being partnerless, having this damned immune system shit for the last month, feeling like Billy No Mates (or no family), and whatever in the hell both the illness and the drugs I've been taking for it may or may not have been doing to my mind, I might as well just give up and let the malaise happen. It's not like I have the energy to fight back.