Web Cowgirl 衛 思 維 (webcowgirl) wrote,
Web Cowgirl 衛 思 維

2004 Oscars review

Last night's Oscars was a bit of a snooze, making me think that perhaps this will be the last Oscar party I go to in a while. I'm not a Lord of the Rings fan like some people are, so I didn't really have a lot invested in who won best picture. Despite all the movies I saw last year, the two movies I thought were the best (Lost in Translation and American Splendor) were both very quiet little films that didn't get a lot of attention from the academy. So, given that I had nothing invested in who won, what was left for me to enjoy? The party I was at, the clothes the stars were wearing, and the commentary of the hosts and presenters.

RE: the clothes. This was a HUGE disappointment for me this year, and it's usually something I really look forward to. What was up with all of the white? The stars, except Catherine Zeta-Jones and Scarlett Johannsen, looked washed out. And is someone going to show these women an edition of "What Not to Wear"? Froofy shit on the hips: bad unless you are a twig. Bosom-squeezing, straight-across necklines: make you look like you have a fat chest instead of making you look curvy. Who got the white look right? Lips, I mean, Angelina Jolie did, because being a star is all about wearing something that's cut down to your belly button. Who got the strapless, straight across the chest neckline right? Naomi Watts, whoever she is, who wore a dress that was stiffened so that it gave her a nice profile (or "frontfile"). Who else looked good? Charlize Theron (despite needing actual colored lipstick), Patricia Clarkson, the costume designer for Lord of the Rings (who should have just gone over to Liv Tyler and ripped that hideous choker off ... and added some cleavage to her dress), Jennifer Garner (color plus good lines), and of course Owen Wilson.

So this left the commentary and the party for me to enjoy. The commentary was thin. Billy Crystal's opening montage was a hoot, and I liked when he sang the doggerel songs for the various best picture nominees. Adrian Brody made me laugh when he gave himself a shot of binaca. The speeches weren't very exciting, but to be honest I was put off when they cut people off. 90 seconds is a very short time, especially when multiple people won an award. This caused the people at the party to heckle the people who were staying to late, which irritated me. Really, the people who won the smaller awards had more interesting things to say, and I wanted to hear them talk. Two of the people at the party also complained about the teeny, tiny anti-war comments (the "rabbit hole" comment and the "actors know there weren't any WMDs") made during the show and weren't willing to believe that Billy Crystal's commentary about the soldiers stationed overseas WAS political. So I wound up feeling slightly disgusted with my co-party attendees.

All in all it's kind of sad that this was the most exciting thing I had to look forward to all weekend, but in fact my favorite part of the weekend was having lunch with sallysimpleton and her husband and having an informed debate over whom the Republicans are likely to run as VP this year, and walking around in the spring sunshine on my way back home from Capitol Hill. Thanks, Sal!
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