Thing is, I just don't think all that many people I know have every seen me angry. It kind of makes me wonder what they think my angry looks like, because my version of angry is like a dragon exhaling a nuclear bomb, and they've only seen kitten in a bathtub.
Today reminded me that I miss my big bad temper, because it's how I protect myself from jerks. I've tried to tone it down for years to make myself a better partner, but I think it's ultimately led to me being in this situation where I feel that, not only do I have no one to defend me, I can't even defend myself. And today I defended myself and, brainwise, I felt good - not taken advantage of, not helpless and weak, but strong and powerful.
I liked that.
I don't care if it's not socially acceptable because I'm female. Fuck that shit. There's no one out there to defend me except for me, and I need to stand up and take responsibility for being my own protector.