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Naming, shaming, and victim-blaming

A lot is being written about the Adria Richards Twitter/Pycon thing this week, and I'll add this: boy, I can't just say if it's my experience as a woman, but I will say that when I have publicly called out people for bad behavior I have MASSIVELY been shut down and cut off. I really don't understand why the attitude is to blame the victim instead of the perp but people have got to learn to stop taking the attitude that a woman complaining about other people being awful is a bitch and start looking at what exactly is going on and addressing it directly. I don't understand why men are allowed to get away with stuff the way they do but the code of silencing really has a lot to blame for enabling rapists, child molesters, sexual harassers, and all-purpose assholes not being called to account for their behavior. Treat your partner (or ex-partner) like shit in private? You get a FREE RIDE because if she complains about it, she's a bitch, or "airing her dirty laundry," or what have you. And my experience is that men will treat their next partner (or victim) the same way because they CAN get away with it.

I have filed both bullying and sexual harassment claims at various jobs, and in both cases, I was the one who had to quit.

It's time this stops.

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