I'll write more about the place I'm going to be working at and the interview and stuff later. But: job.
I am frustrated that it's been a full year since I first got sick and I'm still not entirely well, but I'm relieved that I've plateaued (finally) at a level that can support me going into work. All of the fear I experienced the last year - well, November through October - may have been caused by real things that slammed into me way too hard (thanks to the adrenaline valve being stuck in "open" - but some of what I had to deal with was genuinely awful, including losing my best friend and the shit that happened at work) or may have been caused by the meds, but all of it felt real to me at the time. I'm just so glad that my fear system has finally, after all of this time, re-regulated at a level that doesn't leave me feeling like I might need to spend a few days hiding in the bathroom.
And I'm going to not be dependent again very, very soon. I'm so relieved. In a few months, I can start to try to imagine what my future is going to look like. At this point, I have no idea what even February holds. But I can figure it out later. I am just going to stare into the future and take it as it comes. I can do it.