Web Cowgirl 衛 思 維 (webcowgirl) wrote,
Web Cowgirl 衛 思 維
webcowgirl

Father's day thoughts

I spent part of last night in the 611 Creperie, talking with my father-in-law's second wife about my dad. She asked how often I heard from him, how often I saw him, that kind of thing. I told her that I saw and heard from him rarely - maybe one in-person visit a year, a phone call every two or three months.

I told her that after my Grandma died, our relationship kind of floundered, as he said some things to me that really hurt me. As I sat there talking, I could feel my cheeks turning red. He'd told me that I wasn't really family because I was a girl. Maybe he just felt like that because I didn't grow up with him, but suddenly my place in his heart felt clear - I wasn't really a part of the family. And it seems like since then, the rest of the family on my dad's side (with the notable exception of my brother), has treated me like what my dad says is right, I'm not family, I'm just some weird offshoot that grew up in the desert. So for me, I felt like I became an orphan when my grandma died - I lost an entire family in one fell swoop.

Anyway, happy father's day to you all. If you have a good relationship with your father, be grateful; for those of you who don't, know that you're not alone.
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